My Dearest Steven,

One year ago today you and I embarked on a statistic failure. The numbers were against us, distance was against us, precedent was against us, even public opinion was against us. We were two friends living hundreds of miles apart who met online. We had no idea that a friendship 3-years old would turn into what it is today. Then we met face to face and realised that there was more than friendship between us. We fought our feelings and our situation, but we couldn’t fight what God had planned for us. We ignored the statistics, the distance, the precedents, age difference and public opinion and decided to make this work. We made a commitment to each other and to this relationship, and now a year later we’re still together, closer and more in love than ever.

This first year has been anything but smooth sailing. In November I had TSS and very nearly died, and perhaps might have if it hadn’t been for you and your nagging me to get help because you were so worried. Thank you for that, by the way. If I didn’t know before, I definitely knew then that I was in love with you. You were so loving, caring and nurturing to me during that time. You rushed to Boston after my 5-day stay in the hospital was over. You got to Boston the day after your 25th birthday and immediately focused all your attention on me and my health, not even wanting to talk about your birthday. When I tried to weakly sit up and apologise for not getting you a present, you just smiled, grabbed my head in your hands, kissed my forehead and said, “Being here taking care of you is my present.” Then you held my hands in yours as I fell asleep, you just being so grateful I was ok. I was the luckiest girl in the world and I was too sick to realise it. You then took me to your parents’ for Thanksgiving/my birthday to take care of me. I had never met your family before, but everyone opened their hearts and their home to me. They didn’t even know me, but they tried their very best to make my birthday special and to compensate for the fact that I didn’t have my family there with me on that day. I kept expecting your parents to snidely comment on my health and me being the centre of attention, or for them to disapprove of me and our relationship, but they didn’t. They were the first people who were genuinely happy for us both and recognised that we belong together. They’ve fully welcomed me into the family and even invited me to your family reunion this summer, and I couldn’t have felt more apart of your family.

My first year in school was an incredibly rough one but you were always there supporting me. You never seemed to tire of my rants or breakdowns, though I know you did! You were loving, supportive and you stuck by my side the whole time, even when you yourself were having such a difficult time handling 80 hours a week of work, school and senior project. To this day I still don’t know how you managed it all. Then this summer hit and you had to take one more class to graduate. Then my aunt died when I was in New York with you. You knew what a rough time that was for me and you stayed by me the whole time. Literally. You kept giving me hugs, offering to listen if I wanted to talk about it, offered to do anything I wanted – get me anything or take me anywhere. What helped me get through that time more than antything was just you and having you there, not your offers and overwhelming amount of cuddles (though that was nice), but the love you so clearly possessed for me and how earnestly you wanted to do everything, anything to make things better for me. We had thought we were in the clear after that, but but then insomnia and depression hit me hard and my anxiety exploded, and you had finally graduated but couldn’t find a job. Most guys wouldn’t have stayed with me through this anxiety and depression, especially after all I put you through, but you have and you have no intention of leaving. You’ve held my hand through everything and given me more than I could possibly deserve in a lifetime. It’s been a rough year, there’s no denying that, but given how heavenly things have been in spite of it all, I can only imagine how blessed and wonderful all the years to come will be.

You’re the kind of prince every girl dreams of from a young age. I used to think that that kind of guy didn’t exist and that love like that only happened in fairy tales, but you were determined to prove me wrong. And you have, you really, truly have. You look at me and you see something other people – even I – don’t see. You treat me like a princess. You are the most loving person I’ve ever met; you are such a cuddle monster, and I love it. You always take care of me and provide for me; I can’t even remember the last time, if ever, I had to pay for something when you were around. You always take care of me when I’m sick or not feeling well without me even asking. You’re always so polite! You are such a gentleman. You open and close doors for me, fix me food, serve me food and pour me my drinks, butter my bread, fold my clothes… you help me clean my room and you’re always so understanding about my health and sleepiness. You never push me beyond my limitations. You never mind me sleeping in the car when we go on long rides and, in fact, encourage me to rest (because you can always tell when I need it!). You were the most supportive person when I joined the programme to become Catholic this past year. You made sure to be there on the evening of my baptism taking pictures, being supportive and celebrating with me, because you knew (much more than anyone else, except probably God) that that was the most important day of my life, far more than any wedding day could/will ever be. You understand how improtant my faith is to me, so you come to Mass with me when you visit so we can experience it together, even though you’re not Catholic. You knew that for my birthday I wanted a pink iPod, and you had been planning on getting me an iPod Nano but they didn’t offer them in pink. But you wanted to give me my pink iPod, so you bought a package of six iPod tubes just so I could have the pink one for my iPod. You got six just for the one pink one, just for me. Then for Christmas, you remembered how much I love unwrapping things, so you bought me tons of small gifts and wrapped every single gift. To make it more fun for me, you put one wrapped gift inside another wrapped gift and left some wrapped gifts just lying in the box, then filled the entire inside of the box with loose tissue and wrapping paper. It was something small, but it made me so happy that you remembered that about me. You always remember the small things. Whenever we walk you always stand to my right because you know how I hate standing on the right and prefer standing on the left (and freak out if I’m on the right). And if none of this is proof enough that you are in fact the most perfect boyfriend ever, then this will: you watch Gilmore Girls with me every week and talk to me on the phone all the while, just because it’s my favourite show and you know it makes me happy.

I wear the bracelet that you got me for Valentine’s Day every single day. I never take it off because, for me, it is a symbol of our blessed, amazing relationship and a reminder that we’re in this together. I am only one half of a whole, and I am so at all times. I’m not just your girlfriend only when we’re together or on the phone; I’m your girlfriend when you’re hundreds of miles away. I’m your girlfriend when you’re out at dinner and I’m out spending time with friends. Several months have gone by since you gave me this beautiful bracelet and it has been scratched an innumerable amount of times, but to me, it is still as lovely as ever. I think it is a beautiful symbol of our relationship – it’s been through daily wear’n'tear and has received more than its fair share of scratches and scrapes, but it is still beautiful and it is still strong. I look at this beautiful bracelet and can’t help but smile through tears of joy. “9.22.05″ – that’s what the inscription says. One year ago today God brought my best friend and me together. I learned that I was only one part of a whole. But more importantly than that, I was made aware of God’s immense love for me because, on that day, and every day since, it has taken on a physical form.

A relationship is such a test of patience and love. It’s a lesson of selflessness. We test each other on a daily basis, but I wouldn’t give it up for the world. I’ve learned so much from you. I’ve learned how to love, I’ve learned how to be patient and I’ve learned who I am. You’re my gift from God and I thank Him for you every morning and night – for your love and compassion, for your sweet smile, for your protective hugs, for your beautiful eyes, for your limitless heart, for your intelligence, for your commitment, for your sense of humour, for your playfulness and for your understanding. You are perfect for me, Steven, perfect in every way. You are by far the greatest gift God has given me.

If anyone asked me how I knew God exists I would only have to point to you as my proof. I do not believe there is more than one person for each individual, nor do I believe in coincidence. We’re from different states, we’re 6 years apart… we couldn’t have possibly met by chance. The fact that you and I are together is proof that God exists.

So many people mistake us for just having started dated because of how in love we are and how attentive we are to each other. More than once I’ve been asked what our secret is and how we do it. I never quite know what to say, because a huge part of it is that God brought us together and, presumably, he operates the best dating service around. In all seriousness though, I don’t know what to say. Yes, we both put in effort, but the way we feel about each other and how attentive we are toward one another, that just comes so naturally to us both. It’s just something that is there. I do think that being in a long distance relationship has made us appreciate each other and our time together more. But I think more than anything it comes down to our love and commitment to each other. We make time to talk on the phone or online every day and because we’re committed to making this work, we put in the time and the effort. We’ve never regarded this relationship as something we’re independently a part of; from the start it’s been a joint effort and we’ve done and gone through everything together, and as time’s gone on it’s become more and more apparent that we each hold the well-being of the other above our own.

I’m always so speechless with love that I never know quite how to tell you how I feel and how incredibly thankful I am. I’m sure that at times I seem ungrateful; I’m not, I just get choked up by how lucky that I am. I know – me, Miss Loquacious herself, speechless. But I am. I know telling you this is pointless. You understand; you know how I feel even if I say nothing at all, but I wanted to at least attempt to tell you and let you know that all of those amazingly sweet things you do don’t go unnotived; I notice and am touched by your gestures of love more than words can say. But more than anything, you are an AMAZING boyfriend and best friend, and you deserve recognition and much more than I’ll ever be able to give you. Hopefully one day I’ll be worthy of being with someone as wonderful as you and I’ll be able to give you back everything you’ve given me and more.

Happy anniversary, sweetheart. And thank you.

All my love,

Lindsay

P.S. This picture of Ben seemed fittingly romantic, so I thought I would post it because it sums up my sentiments precisely.