My Darling Niece,

In but ten short weeks, you are due to be born, just around the time I am set to have my Masters thesis completed. You have many people anxiously awaiting your arrival. However, it is my opinion that it will most likely be eleven or twelve weeks before you grace us with your presence because your mother and father are infamous for being late–not fashionably late, mind you–I am talking thirty minutes at the minimum kind of late. If there is a gene for tardiness, I guarantee you that you have the most dominant gene of all. You, my poor dear, are doomed before you ever even have a chance. You will have to deal with the people in your life lying to you on a daily basis about when you have to be somewhere. On the bright side, you will have the immense pleasure of passing the blame off onto your parents. It will be many years before you will fully be able to appreciate such a blessing, but once you are able to, the accompanying giddiness will never leave. There are few joys in life which never diminish over time; this is one of them.

I have known about your existence for many, many months. Your mom can vouch for me when I say that I was overjoyed from the moment I knew about you. In fact, I was the first of the family to know, a fact which warms my heart more than you could possibly conceive. You will one day realize how completely opposite your mom and I are in nearly every way except for perhaps our tenacity. We did not always have the relationship that we have now. We were close when I was small and cute, but as we both got older, our relationship deteriorated somewhat. This could be because she realized The Adorable was transient (she predicted it would happen–I recall her once telling me that cute children turned out to be ugly adults; to this day, I believe she jinxed me), or perhaps it is because she turned out to be one extremely moody young adult–regardless, the dynamic of our relationship shifted drastically over the years. This was a source of a lot of pain or me over the past five or six years, but things between the two of us have really started to improve over the last year. I think this is partially due to the fact that your mom was finally starting to be happy. She was finally getting there, but when she found out about you, she absolutely blossomed over night. It is not at all an over exaggeration to say that your mom was absolutely thrilled to find out she was pregnant with you, and I do not think I am overstepping my place in saying that you are the best surprise she has ever received. So, when she chose to share that news with me before she did with the rest of the family, I teared up. I think that moment bound us together in an intimacy previously foreign to our relationship. I know that is quite a lot to place on such a small little person who is not even born yet, but it is absolutely the truth. The changes in your mom the past several months have been absolutely phenomenal. I cannot remember a time in her life that she has ever been so joyfully happy. I think this pregnancy has made her kinder than she has ever been before, completely dispelling every pregnancy stereotype I have come across. You, my beauty, are reconstructing bridges everywhere. Being the family perfectionist, I have to say that even I am impressed by that. It also gives me a tiny shred hope that maybe you will resemble me a tiny bit. Anyone else reading this will take that for something else entirely, but I think your mom will understand. Should you one day become an engineer, I will not be surprised in the least.

My excitement about your birth is unsurpassed only by that of my trepidation. I do not have experience with babies, and until a friend of mine gave birth in January, babies were more of a concept than a reality for me. I have yet to hold a baby, and if I have my way, I will not be holding one anytime soon. The closest I have come is grasping a baby hand while said baby was safely and securely in the arms of her mother. That may not seem like a big step to most, but it was for me. I fear the fragility, and I fear that if I ever do hold a baby, one of two outcomes will occur: either my clumsiness will kick in, and I will somehow hurt the baby, or the baby will shriek in displeasure. I am not sure which of the two fears is strongest, but I have a suspicion it is the latter one more than anything. I told your mother that I love you enough to stay away until you are older and we are both less fragile. She seems to have more faith in me than I do, though, and I have no doubt that she will not give up on her efforts to convince me. As I said, we are both a force to be reckoned with, and I do not see either one of us backing down on the issue anytime soon. However, I wish for nothing more than for you to be the first baby I hold. A lot of people know me to be level-headed and calculating, but at the core I am actually quite sentimental. The idea of my own niece being the first infant I hold appeals to my sentimentality.

I have consistently been surprised by how much love I already possess for you, though I suppose I should not be. I know that it will most likely floor me when I actually meet you. Of course, when I finally do, you will probably be a homely-looking little thing (a fact your mom and I frequently joke about), but perhaps you will luck out and be among the rare collection of beautiful newborns or, depending upon when I come to visit, will have cutened up by then.

I look forward to spoiling you rotten and telling you stories about your mother. I know she and I both look forward to inundating you with Gilmore Girls. I cannot wait until you can speak to find out what terrible rendition of my name you come up with, whether it is my much feared Ninny or something much kinder like Lin. I am eagerly anticipating reading to you, especially A Little Princess, because it is one of my favorite books and quite appropriate seeing as you will be everyone’s little princess. Your mother’s name, just like little Sara Crewe in the book, means “princess.” Being half her, I think it is fitting. I also believe she will have no problem relinquishing her tiara to you, because I think she already views you as her little princess. More than even that, though, I am looking forward to getting to know you and see the beautiful woman you will become, whether you are short or tall, feminine or tomboyish, obedient or independent, sweet or sassy.

I pray for you every day, little one. You are always close to my thoughts. I cannot wait to show you this beautiful, wonderful, sometimes horrifying world we live in. Until that day, I wait patiently.

Lovingly yours,
Lindsay