I have been told many times that I tend to live inside my head. Ever since I was little, I could usually entertain myself merely by retreating back into my own mind–in my own world. I’ve found this to be both a blessing and a curse, because I often lose myself in my thoughts without meaning to; it’s simply become an automatic reaction. I’ve always held the philosophy that I can work through any problem if given ample enough time to think about it.
The problem, however, is that I generally need an oasis to think in, or even to not think in. Sometimes just having a “thinking spot” is enough, whether I use it or not. Even if I don’t use it, it’s a retreat. I had one back home in Indiana; it was my sanctuary away from everything, my place to just be me. I never invited anyone to accompany me.
I have found a similar sanctuary here in Quincy. It’s not as isolated as my thinking spot back home, not by a long shot, and I often have to choose my hours carefully so that I can be there when no one else is. It’s actually a playground, and I’ve found that listening to my iPod while swinging is surprisingly serene and therapeutic. If I close my eyes and lose myself in the music and the motion, my mind just seems to free itself. It is wonderful, much akin to the feeling I get when I’m praying or in Adoration, only this allows me to feel the breeze on my skin and fills me with exhilaration. I’ve brought my roommate there once so we could play on the swings and the slides together, and it was a wonderful time, but it was completely different. I absolutely love my “me time” that I have there, and coupled with a book to read? There are few things that can surpass that feeling of contentment, at least at this point in my life.
All my troubles seem to wither away into whispers in the background, and all my expectations and failures don’t seem quite so apocalyptic. I’m able to let go, get perspective, get answers and get in the moment. As it turns out, serenity really seems to aid the problem solving process. It’s amazing what you can figure out and accomplish when you’re able to just let it all go.
What’s interesting, though, is that my thinking spot back home and here are both outdoors. I am not an outdoorsy person by any means. The fact that I seem to find sanctuary somewhere in the outdoors is mildly preposterous and highly ironic to me, yet there you have it.
Unfortunately, I realize that this will soon pose a problem for me, what with the weather getting increasingly colder and the days shorter. The daylight issue is not a concern for me; the freezing temperatures and snow, however, do. I suppose I will deal with that as I come to it and for now savor the fact that I can still enjoy the release it provides me.
Where is your sanctuary? Where do you go to think?
