(Yet another warning before reading this–I have not been proofreading my NaBloPoMo posts, so I apologize if they do not transition well or make complete sense. I’m trying to just go with the flow–ha! (or not?)–and ignore my perfectionistic tendencies. I’ve also been writing usually whilst doing other things, so my writing is very…uhm…undeveloped and rough. I apologize for not polishing my work up more for you.)
This sort of stems from my post the other day. I should probably preface this all by saying that this is not exclusive to Catholics, I’m only focusing on them because that’s where my experience lies, and that this is not true across the board; it is a generalization, and I would like you to take it as such. In fact, take it with a grain of salt. It might be more tolerable that way. This is merely what I’ve noticed with devout, practicing Catholics. (Also, for the sake of any and all friendships, let’s assume I’m not talking about you. Have I written enough to try to weasel my way out of being yelled at? No? Maybe? Ok, one more–don’t listen to anything I say, because I’m an idiot. Ok. There.)
I’m also highly distracted, so this won’t be written the way I’d like it to be; it’ll be clumsy and probably not concise in the least, so I apologize in advance.
In Catholicism–well, any Christian denomination, really–you hear a lot about evangelization. Everyone has their own method of it, often times that method being witnessing your faith through example. I’ve noticed that for a lot of people this basically means that they don’t evangelize at all, but this is one way of saying that they do. Don’t be confused, I’m not judging–in this society, the topic of faith tends to be a taboo one, and one which often causes tension, if not controversy. I generally think that witnessing one’s faith by example is the best form of evangelization, but having come from a secular background, I can also attest that while this method can be particularly effective, it can also be very exclusionist.
You see, people who are not religious, or who do not adopt your particular religious convictions, find this quite wonderful, because they are in no way flooded with undesired conversations. However, people never really learn about your faith either, and this makes it difficult for conversion or religious toleration/understanding to occur unless non-Catholics seek that information out on their own. Call me cynical, but I’m guessing this doesn’t happen a lot. I find this to be rather problematic, because even if a seed for conversion isn’t planted, it’s important to know where people are coming from. It’s important to understand what someone believes and why. Though, if we’re being frank, a lot of Catholics don’t even know the answer to those questions (not claiming expertise on my end of things), much less non-Catholics.
So, I’ve noticed that a lot of Catholics tend to cut themselves off from the world. I can understand their reasons. After all, as a whole, we’re labeled as being old-fashioned, intolerant and not with the times. That doesn’t exactly make you want to become chummy with people who perceive you that way. It also makes for a less dramatic existence. It makes for an easier existence. That means it makes for a stagnant existence. We don’t grow in the ways that we otherwise could, not just personally, but spiritually. It’s easy to hang out with people who share your beliefs; it challenges you to grow, sure, but it’s a different kind of growth than, say, having to defend your faith to someone who mentally invalidates it. Anyway, isn’t it God who reminds us that we may live in this world but we’re not of this world? Hey, He’s giving us our excuse to close ourselves off from people who don’t share our convictions! Right?
I personally see this result in a huge lack of evangelization and a huge contribution to misunderstanding between people. It makes Catholics come off as being cold, exclusionist and, well, arrogant. That’s not exactly the message you want to be sending to non-Catholics, because it’s not true, but having come from the other side of things, it absolutely seems that way.
Of course, then you have the Catholics who are quite extroverted in their evangelization, the ones who speak about their faith in great length and frequency. That can pose problems, too, because it often become a monologue at that point rather than a dialogue. Admittedly, having a dialogue can be rather difficult, especially in print. The point, though, is that that form of evangelization can seem acerbic at times.
I guess this all stems from my personal belief that evangelization begins with conversation and understanding. You can’t effectively evangelize without understanding where someone is coming from, because people are different, and it’s not an instance of one argument fits all. You need to know where someone’s coming from, you need to know what they believe and why, and you need to meet them where they are, not where you’d like them to be. You need to listen to them, not just talk to them, because people believe in their convictions, and they have reasons for them. It’s a delicate path to travel because people’s hearts are invested in such things, and people who actively evangelize can unintentionally offend others because of it.
It just seems to me like a lot of devout Catholics tend to fall into one camp or the other–actively hiding away from the world (because the pugnacious non-Catholics annoy the Hell out of them–but, hey, this is good; less time in Purgatory, friends!) (That was a joke.) or jumping into the middle of things, guns blazing. Neither approach really seems to work, at least in my personal experience, because neither really seeks dialogue and conversation, and both seem to contribute to heightened tension and misunderstanding.
Because, ultimately, regardless of how an individual identifies his or her faith, Catholics believe we are all one in Christ. We are united by Christ’s death and resurrection, and even if we do not accept this as a personal truth, Catholics maintain that it holds as a universal truth, and one that unites us at that. If we ever hope to change the world, we must integrate ourselves into it, and we should seek first for mutual understanding and respect. Should that plant the seed that leads to conversion, then awesome, but if not, I dare say we’d still be yielding a positive return on our efforts.
I think you are right. People usually go too far in one direction or the other and that just makes everyone mad.
To add a wee bitty dimension to this: as a Plain Catholic we only isolate ourselves from following secular mores and fashions. Living out the Catholic faith as a lay person means a balance of humbly volunteering/witnessing for the Kingdom of God and the pursuit of discipling our own family.
We volunteer in parishes and communities but do not dress nor participate in secular modes. We choose to live the example and as St. Paul instructs us, to simply and humbly give a reason for our hope when we are asked. We do not aggressively knock on doors nor do we hide away from it all as we are not cloistered. Plain, simple living and loving others for God is our call and charism while avoiding the trappings of materialism, immorality and immodesty.
The world is a complex place, aye?
Hi Lindsay,
I’m glad to see there are indeed other 20-something Catholic Converts out there! Keep up the great work, I’m looking forward to reading up on some of your other posts as well.
I agree with you. My husband and I are converts and we have both discussed that we love the Catholic Church but we don’t really like cradle Catholics. They tend to be as you described: cold, arrogant, and very territorial about THEIR parish; or they have their cars covered in Catholic bumper stickers and every conversation about current events ends with the statement, “Well, God wills and God allows.”
Drives me nuts. Even though we’ve both been Catholic now for 5+ years, we feel we are strangers in a strange land and take a more hybridized approach: evangelize by living our faith and by talking to people when appropriate about what we’ve learned that caused us to embrace Catholicism.
Good day greetings in Christ, Lindsay. Based on my experience too, the reason why you find catholics cold or arrogant its because ..when they go to attend mass, often its the rituals that they are after..giving thanks to God as supplication for the graces granted to them and share in the Holy Eucharist of God. but deep in their hearts when you learn to know them personally you will see the fruits of their faith in their person. You just find their actions as arrogant, because some belongs to the higher echelon of life and naturally it is just proper that they act according to their standard of living, but still if a person of their own standing or level talks to them..you will still find the level of faith that they have and their actions. That i find are the difference of personality between or among catholics. Very often the arrogant are the ones who acts as leaders of one organization within the parish and the poor are the ones who follow whatever projects on evangelization that is required in the parish. I for one, just a simple plain catholics would rather practice in my life the teachings in the Bible and participate in parish renewal to broaden my knowledge of the faith and words of God with the guidance of our Priest which I do believe is the living covenant of God here on earth. And a reminder of Jesus.. do what they teaches but do not follow their actions (referring to the teachers of the law). God bless us all.
L,
I got your blog form Sherry at Intentional Disciples. I loved your thoughts on Cliques. It really got me thinking. I was a Catholic all my life, but for the first 35 years it meant nothing. In name only. Then I crashed and burned and found this real guy named Jesus and His mom. So then everything changed.
Your point about finding out where people are and meeting them there and BEING OK WITH THAT is really great. I think that is what Jesus does with us anyway. So we would just be imitating Him if we did it to others.
I’m going to keep reading your blog! Praise God. You have some great insights. Please keep sharing them with the world.
Hi Lindsay, I got a link to your blog from the International Disciples blog too. I loved your post and I think it is definitely something cradle Catholics need lovingly challenged with. I was raised Catholic and and thought of myself as a serious introvert. My mantra was what St. Francis said, “Preach the gospel at all times, when necessary use words.” That was my excuse to keep to myself and live an easy life. Little did I realize how much communication would help me grow, nor did I see that our world is hungry to be talked to. I was challenged by the Protestant/Evangelical world to do more than simply go my merry way without bothering others. I am so glad to find Catholics who have the attitude that you do. It really is so important, like you said, that Catholics integrate themselves into the world so that they can win it for Christ. I still struggle with being an introvert, but as I’ve been challenged (and have tried) to reach out more, my introversion has fallen away and I’ve been surprised to find that I often like connecting with people in the ways you talked about. Who knew!
Again, your post was awesome, I’ll be checking this blog again!
I also wandered in here courtesy Sherry Weddell. I was/am a cradle Catholic with traditionally narrow views until at age 30 when I married and my wife said to me “Who told you that? How do you know these things?” That got me going and it wasn’t long after that that I encountered that quip of G. K. Chesterton about the problem for cradle Catholics being that they’ve been supplied with all the answers before discovering what the questions were. The long & the short of it is I’m now at age 67 actively involved in the RCIA programme for our Parish, and it is very rewarding – it cuts both ways – both candidates and presenters learn from each other and I think what you Lindsay have said in this post is bang on. I intend to keep returning here. Keep up the good work.
Cheers
Steve Sparrow