My thesis is due Friday.  I have a lot to do between now and then, and I have my sleep consultation tomorrow afternoon, so I’m not expecting to sleep much, if at all, tonight.  On the bright side, I get to read TSE, Shakespeare, Dryden and Yeats.  Of course, I think I would enjoy it more were it not for the threat of the guillotine over my head.  I feel as if I should be getting anxious over how much I have to do in the next thirty-six hours or so, but I’m actually feeling quite calm.  I know I’m going to be cutting it close on time, and I normally would be having subsequent anxiety attacks by now, but I’m not.  It’s a nice reprieve.  I’m not counting on it lasting, because I’m quite sure that by the time Friday morning arrives I will be in full-blown panic mode, but I’m enjoying it while it lasts.  I’ve become accustomed to planning my work around my anxiety, and that’s definitely difficult.  It usually requires me to accept that I am unable to do work at that given moment and set it aside to deal with the anxiety until it dissipates enough that I can work.  This adds a lot of time and often discord to my work, because I have to do it in chunks.  So, not having to deal with that, at least right now, is wonderful.  Even if I don’t manage to sleep tonight or much tomorrow or tomorrow night, if I can manage to get through all of this without suffering from an anxiety attack, I will be beyond thrilled.  I really enjoy work when I can experience it in complete serenity and just be in my own mind without fearing it.  Hopefully, I’ll produce something really great while I’m at it.

I always feel weird asking people to pray for me, because I don’t want to be so arrogant as to presume that I occupy that sort of importance in the minds of others, but if you feel inclined to pray that I’m graced with serenity and brilliance (so that my thesis turns out well), I would be terribly grateful.