The little bit is actually in the room with me now. She is being fed, and then we will be leaving to go to my sister’s house which is in the middle of nowhere. I have the address, and I tried to Google map it a couple of times, but Google cannot find my sister’s house. That’s comforting. I sort of feel like I’m about to enter into the real life version of The Hills Have Eyes. I trust my sister, though. Mostly.
The following pictures are from the first day of Christmas, the first time Alice got to eat rice cereal mixed in with her milk. This also means she got to eat from a spoon. I am pleased to report that she loved the stuff.
Also! I have more great news. I am an aunt again! My sister-in-law is pregnant and due in July. More squishy little people! Elatedness abounds!
“Gimme. Gimme now. …Please.”
“Just…give me the bowl. You’re too slow.”
“Mama, Aunt Lindsay is even slower than you.”
Staring at my Ally-Angel
“Ok. I think I’ll keep my Aunt Lindsay.”
Alice wanted to eat her present.
She had some help from her mama opening it, but she tried her best. To eat the wrapping paper.
“Aunt Lindsay says I have elf ears…”
“But I also have a mama who loves me.”
“Hey, who’s that baby?”
“No, really, who’s that baby?”
“Ok, this is fun. I like that baby.”
“I want to play with that baby, Aunt Lindsay!”
She actually did smile for a few seconds, but my sister accidentally had it on video instead.
“My grandpa loves me. My grandpa is also very, very comfy.”
Pretty much the greatest picture ever.
“What’s your favorite color?” 
“I’ll take it from here, thanks.”
“Hi there. I’m happy. When I’m happy, everyone’s happy.”
DJ Alice P, rappin’ on yo’ air records.
“You look like my blanket. Are you my blanket?”
“Uh oh, that’s not my blanket.”
“My mama says the skirt is made of tool! I like tools!”
“I got a cute nose, all the better to hang ornaments on! Let me show you using this.”
“Not so sure about this marshmallow suit, Mama.”
Alice was just informed what happens to marshmallows when you put them in hot chocolate.
“I’m watching Elmo, the little punk. He’s afraid of clowns just like Aunt Lindsay. Aunt Lindsay’s not an annoying attention whore, though.* Not usually, anyway.”
Blair Witch, baby style. 
“My name is Alice, and I’d like to talk to you about stroke awareness. My parents made me watch football all day, and it gave me a stroke. If you don’t want to end up like me, make sure your parents act F.A.S.T. Or buy a new set.”
“Come on, not this again. Really, guys?”
“My mom thinks it’s funny that I can’t move my limbs. Bet she won’t be laughing when she sees the surprise I left her in my diaper.”
Everyone thinks it’s cute now, but they will be itching to give those cheeks their own zip code when you get your wisdom teeth taken out, little one. If you don’t believe me, ask your mother.
“E’scuse me, Miss, but do you have this vest in a smaller size?”
Watching the World Series with her father and already understanding baseball more than Aunt Lindsay.
“Hey, Daddy? These guys get pretty dirty…what kind of bleach do you think they use?”
Gym baby works out to “Eye of the Tiger.” Heck yeah she does.
“I need my mommy, and, damnit, I don’t care who knows!”
“No more kisses, Mama! No more!”
“I mean, I guess these…Colt thingies are fun to watch. They ram into each other and make fun noises. I totally look better in blue, though.”
“Bumbo for baby! Bumbo for baby! Bumbo for baby! Wheeeee, this is fun.”
Who let the dogs out?
Woof! Woof, woof, woo…f? 
“I’m Rolly, ’cause I’m hungry all the time! Really! All the time!”
“‘I’m hungry, Mother–really, I am. I’m so hungry, I could a–a whole elephant!’ So I did. And now I’m in a food coma.”
